Missed

Dear You,

Let not too much time pass between
You breathing
your gift of breath
And uttering
"I love you"
You just never know when
It's going to be the Last

Give your "flowers" today
And even if you don't know
why you may be getting "flowers"
Receive them anyway
I'm sure you won't regret it

I hope this piece is as much of a blessing to you as it was and is to me. I write this in remembrance of living legacies, in their own right. I write this for the people who have etched the very essence of their being on the tapestry of my heart. Their love, as a manifestation of the Ultimate LOVE, expanded the capacity of my heart. And the expansion enables me to love more.

*Dedicated to all the ones I have Loved and Lost*

We smiled
We danced
We laughed
We loved

You taught
I learned
I lived
You died
Or is it
You lived
I died

You now have eternal life
and my heart missed a beat
When I realized
I couldn't share you
with the world
anymore
I cried

Time
passes
One Year
Two Years,
FIve, Seven, Nine
And more

So glad I had the opportunity
To really know you
Because now,
with tears in my eyes,
I can honestly say
You are...
MISSED

Dance

Tired feet
Lifting and shifting
Through the humdrum
Of "new life"
Who's life?
Their "new life"
That wasn't as glorious
As it was promised to be

Moving from one state to another
With the hope of prosperity,
As the beacon of a guiding light,
Only to be introduced to a colder world
Of foreign injustices

See back in the south
At least it was known how to operate
But in this here north
There were dangers
as far as the eye could see
that really couldn't be seen
Until they were too close to escape

The lost of children
the lost of family
the lost of dignity
the lost of sanity

But something had them stay
And as a product of the "great migration"
two generations removed
I am grateful for
Their tired feet
as they shuffled to a beat unknown
So I could make a beat of my own

And DANCE

In Flight

In the wee hours of the morning,
It's quiet enough to hear a pin drop...
And at one point of my life
I used to wait
At this hour
For my heart to stop

Now as I sit here
Reflecting on the things that were
And the life that was
I marvel at how
I loved just because

Even if my heart
Felt like it was breaking
Or it was as
Coal encrusted as
An Undiscovered Diamond
Buried in the Core of the Earth
I loved

Well, I tried to at least
Not realizing that
In my WAKE
Broken pieces
Of other jewels
Would be left

But I loved
The only way I knew how...

In FLIGHT

Life changing, life changes

Here I am nine months after I started this blog. All I can say is I have experienced quite a bit in that time. Essentially I have been blessed to give birth to my own breath :-).

If someone would have told me two years ago that I was going to be married at this very second... I probably would have cried and called him or her a liar. But deep down in my heart I wanted to be...married. I wanted to have the security of my husband's love and ALLLLLL that comes with it lol. Unfortunately, I doubted that the Creator would ever let me be the chosen one "for real" and not just "for play". I had so many "close encounters" that my heart began to harden. It was a scary experience because I felt myself closing everyone and everything out. However, the Creator had another plan for me (and for that I am sooooo grateful).

I met this silent soldier of a man, whose passion for life could be witnessed in the words he wrote, the love he gave, the things he did. Making his acquaintance made my heart began to melt immediately and of course I was afraid. I mean, we really were each others' reflections. We were chocolate, with locs and glasses, we loved words, learning, teaching and we were ready to enjoy life. But my wall of doubt almost had me lose him. I almost pushed him away because I did not think I deserved to have such a humble man. But like the whisper on the wind that comes from the flap of a butterfly's wings, I heard from deep within me, "It's ok, now it's time to breathe".

So I committed to breathing having, no idea that I was walking into the next phase of my Divine refinement. Now for anyone who knows about the refining of metals, it was not a pretty comfortable process. There were alot of hidden impurities that the Creator had to bring to the surface so I could walk into my marriage as a refreshed being. Let's just say God had to turn the heat up on the inside of me. There were ideas I had about relationships, what I thought a man should do, what I thought a woman should do and what I thought they should do together. And because I had so many should dos... I did not leave room for us to just be. I had a choke hold on the very life of our divine appointment to be with one another for all our lives.

And then there was the issue of commitment... now remember I said I had alot of "close encounters". Well, without completely understanding how I did it or why I did it I made my future husband pay for their mistakes. So at times I was either tooooo clingy or tooo distance. I was praying mightily for some balance, LOL. And that inner voice told me "It's ok, just remember to breathe, so you can make space for new things".

So I began to make space... and I continue to make space :)

Key Ingredients

I started this blog not really sure how it was going to pan out. I tried to make a cute politically correct profile and description of the blog to attract people from different places. However, those that know and love me will attest to the fact that I am far from politically correct. Therefore, I am just going to share from my heart trusting that the Creator will cover every word I post. So here goes....
I just finished a conversation with my fiance' about the dynamics of each of our families along with the lasting relationships that may or may not exist in them. Within our conversation some of the things that came up were communication, trust, freedom to be self-expressive and relational roles. So my question for today is, What is a working definition for "a successful relationship" and its key ingredients? I look forward to hearing from you...
Peace and Blessings
Camil Blu

The Beginning

I am a woman who has witnessed and experienced many different transitions. Actually, I am in going through one right now. I am learning how to take time for me and also display the different shades of my purpose. I Love to serve and share with others. I have been viewed as a "mother", "big sister", "auntie" figure for as long as I can remember. I have been told that I make talking about the easy things hard and talking about hard things easy so what would you like to talk about. Bare in mind we are sharing and I do expect that we will carry ourselves in a manner that our bosses wouldn't fire us over or our mentee's would be ashamed of :-)..... I invite you to share a cup of proverbial tea with me and help me to build our community through loving honesty and ruthless compassion. What's on your mind?